You are my son
by MrsSwords
Summary: An Einherjar approaches Odin All-Father with news of Asgard's fallen prince, but not everything is as it appears to be.


**You are my son**

"There's no sign of Thor, or the weapon, but..."

"What."

"We found a body."

Loki watches Odin through the eyes of the Einherjar whose image he has wrapped carefully around himself. He saw this one just once during his time in his cell, and for a moment he hopes that Odin does not know the man, does not ask of his family, or attempt some kind of meaningless pleasantries, because Loki finds himself, for once, eager to be done with this particular game. But even though Odin stands upon the dias he appears smaller than Loki has ever seen him; his body hunched as if his limbs were too heavy. And before them both, the ruined throne of Asgard.

 _How symbolic_ , Loki thinks, but for some reason this thought brings him no joy.

Odin's single eye shifts away, focusing on neither throne nor Einherjar before snapping back.

"Loki," he says.

For a second Loki strains to hear something in Odin's voice that he knows he will not find; longing, sadness, even regret, perhaps. But his tone is quiet and flat. Pointed, even.

Good.

Loki attempts, but fails, to suppress the smirk curving his lips.

"You always could see through my illusions, _All-Father_."

"You are my son."

Loki blinks, taking an unconscious step back as if physically struck, but he maintains his illusion nonetheless - he _must_ , or all will be lost if someone should happen to see him alive. If he bares his teeth a little, he will not give Odin the satisfaction of looking up and revealing it.

"Only a fool is tricked by his _own_ illusion," he counters, smoothing his features into what he hopes is an expressionless mask before fixing the old man before him with a challenging stare. He knows Odin's words are a lie. He is a desperate man who is grieving, and Loki will not allow himself to believe him for a second.

Not _one_ second.

"The day I looked upon you - held you with my own hands - was no illusion."

"You held no _child_ that day," Loki says and pauses, grip tightening on the spear in his hand. "Only victory over the monsters."

The silence that fills the great hall is unlike anything he has ever experienced. He does _not_ hold his breath as Odin turns his bulky frame towards him and descends a single step. The images that spill into his mind then are ones he thought he had dammed up a long time ago, and Loki finds himself closing his eyes against them.

 _Tell me!_

"And what of Frigga?" Odin says, and Loki jerks his head up at that, fixing his eyes upon Odin's single one once more. "What do you think _she_ held when I first placed you into her arms?"

Loki feels a single tear escape the corner of his eye, but conceals it behind the false face he wears. If Odin sees it though the mask, he gives no indication.

"Enough of this," Loki says. He finds himself striking the butt of his spear forcefully against the ground as if he still possessed Gungnir, as if he still commanded as a king.

 _Both of you were born to be kings._

But the sound that rings out is hollow.

"Why have you returned?" Odin asks, descending another step.

Loki straightens at this, pleased to be back on course. "I have an offer to make."

"If you are what you believe yourself to be, then how could I bargain with you?"

Loki allows himself to smile at that. "Because soon Asgard will have no king."

Odin blinks slowly, and halts his progress down the steps.

"Thor will be victorious," he says with conviction.

"Of this I have no doubt," Loki concedes, and for once the words do not feel bitter in his mouth, "but he will not return to take the throne. You must know this."

"He has a duty to Asgard," Odin says, but this time Loki hears the question in his voice and seizes hold of it.

"And so do you."

Loki watches Odin lower his head, sees the realisation of what he is saying settle even heavier across the old man's shoulders, and after several moments of silence slip by, Loki feels something stir inside of him that is akin to sympathy.

He wants nothing more than to tear it out.

"Thor can fight, but he cannot prepare for what is coming," he continues, practically spitting the words.

"Perhaps if he _knew_ what was coming," Odin says, his tone once more forceful, his shoulders and chin appearing to lift in retaliation to Loki's sudden ire.

" _You_ knew what was coming, and you did _nothing_." Loki takes a step forward. This is not how he wanted this conversation to play out but he feels his anger seeping like a malignant wound, and it is a hook through his nose, leading him like a beast down this path which he does not want to tread.

Odin is surprisingly quiet, his features suddenly pensive. Like he himself, Loki suspects there are many things that Odin wishes _not_ to acknowledge.

"What _is_ coming, Loki?" he finally says.

"Do not play games, Odin," and then more lightly, "or I may be fooled into thinking that you really are my father."

"Would that be so terrible?"

Loki snarls and steps away. He wants to move, to pace, to prowl. Frigga taught him poise and grace and stillness but he always chafed at it, no matter how useful he found it to be.

An animal can only be obedient for so long, he thinks.

"Come now," he says, glancing at Odin, letting the strength of his movement bolster him. "The Tesseract. The Aether."

"The sceptre that you carried to Midgard," Odin cuts in.

"Ah," Loki says, letting his feet fall still before Odin. "You do know."

"I know what is in my own vault," Odin says, clasping his hands behind his back.

"And did you know of how the Midgardians dabbled with the power of the cube for all those years?" Loki says, focusing all of his attention upon his once-father.

"The Midgardians were not advanced enough to harness its power."

"' _Were'_ indeed," Loki says, lip lifting in a sneer. "You underestimated them, didn't you?"

"As did you," Odin says, raising an eyebrow.

"Did I?" Loki responds, allowing a look of mock confusion to colour his false face before smiling broadly in a way that shows all of his teeth. "How foolish of me."

"You would have me believe this now?" Odin barks a laugh, scoffing. Loki hides the way it makes him bristle, instead allowing the feeling to ebb as he contemplates his next words.

"Would you have listened before?" Loki asks quietly.

Odin's expression falls; the pain he is hiding surfacing clearly for Loki to see. Loki wants to take pleasure in this moment but he cannot, for it is only because of the loss Odin has suffered that Loki knows the All-Father will finally be receptive; will finally _listen._ And in this loss, Loki shares.

Loki swallows thickly.

"What is your bargain?" Odin says, voice low and rough as if he is struggling to form words.

"You will fall into the Odinsleep soon." Loki pauses, expecting Odin to object, but he does not. He had had doubts about this, but Odin's silence confirms his suspicions; the All-Father is weary. "And Thor is not yet ready to take the throne."

"I know this," Odin snaps, and Loki bites his tongue; he has finally guided things to where they need to be and he must not deviate now.

He sucks in a breath and steels himself.

"I will take the throne," Loki says, and Odin laughs again. Louder this time.

"The people of Asgard will not follow you."

"Now you tell _me_ of what I already know," Loki says, narrowing his eyes at Odin; he was prepared for this reply, but it stings nonetheless.

"This is no bargain, Loki," Odin says.

"Ah, but you did not allow me to finish," he replies, and lifts his chin, leveling a look at Odin that challenges him to interrupt again.

This time Odin simply purses his lips together. It is pleasing, Loki thinks, to have the All-Father hang on his words like this, but even he is eager to deliver this particular twist.

"I will take the throne as _you_."

At this, Odin stills, his arms falling back to his sides.

"You would rule as a vassal king?" he says after a long moment, surprise evident in his voice.

Loki grits his teeth, but he has made this comparison himself. He tells himself that this is not an accurate description, that he is not actually a _vassal_ in this arrangement, but the implication is not lost on him. It still grates on his nerves to hear it from Odin's mouth.

He gives Odin another of his toothy grins.

"Isn't that what you always wanted for me, _my King_?" he says. "Am I not simply fulfilling your purpose for me?"

Odin visibly winces, and Loki feels a vague sense of satisfaction despite himself.

"Why must you always twist my words?" Odin says, and Loki turns away from him, suddenly unable to look upon him.

"You will sleep, I will prepare Asgard in your stead, and Thor is exactly where he needs to be," Loki continues matter-of-factly, pacing away from the All-Father. "The humans will need him to defend the mind gem."

"And what of the Aether, the Tesseract?" he hears Odin say behind him. Loki refuses to hear the weariness in his voice.

"They cannot remain together," he replies, turning back.

Odin contemplates him for a time, and Loki allows it.

"Why would you do this?" Odin finally asks.

 _I didn't do it for him._

Before he can stop himself, Loki finds his free hand pressing across the armoured chest of the Einherjar's body. What is hidden beneath is not entirely healed, and it pains him still.

It is nothing, _nothing_ , he tells himself.

He looks up to find Odin standing right before him, still scrutinising him with that single, piercing eye.

"I do it for Asgard," Loki hears himself say, for he will not reveal his grief to his once-father. He _refuses_.

Odin nods once before dropping his gaze and turning back towards the throne.

Loki draws in a deep breath.

"I am tired," Odin says over his shoulder. "I must sleep."

"Yes," Loki replies, his voice husky even to his own ears.

He tracks Odin's slow progress across the room, convinced that he will surely retire to his chambers now, but instead the old man begins to ascend the steps of the dias once again.

Even now, he refuses to yield, Loki thinks, and wonders if Odin will change his mind before this night is out.

For a moment he contemplates lifting the Einherjar's spear and ending it; he cannot see his own hand under the gauntlet covering it, but he knows that his knuckles are white with the strength of his grip on the weapon in it.

So focused is he on pushing the thought from his mind and loosening his fingers that he is caught off guard when Odin suddenly drops to his knees, his body visibly sagging onto the stairs.

The spear falls from Loki's grasp and he instinctively moves forward before stopping himself.

He is not who he once was. Will _never_ be.

 _And he must hurry._

He does not call out for help this time. He does not shake or hesitate when he reaches out to lift his once-father from the ground. He knows what he is, and he tells himself that he feels nothing as he settles Odin against his chest and pulls his magic tightly around them, cloaking them both from sight.

At the same time, he lets his false façade drop.

He wonders what Odin will think if he wakes like this, but he does not, and no one sees a dead, fallen prince carrying Odin All-Father to his rooms that night.

The Aesir only know that when they rise the next morning, their king leads them once more.

* * *

 ** _ **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, or any other Marvel characters. These belong to Marvel, obviously.**_**

 ** _This is simply my imagining of what really transpired between Odin and Loki before we see Loki's big reveal at the end of TDW._**


End file.
